NLP: The inevitable separation

        
When anyone is born, he is separated from his mother. This is not a pleasant separation and most of us cannot deal with it. This might be one of the reason babies cry when born. Later, some of us learn to cope up with the separation quickly and some of us take more time. This is a story of Sohan (name changed for obvious purposes) who needed more time to deal with the separation from mother.

        Sohan’s mother visited me one day and told me that Sohan used to get dreams that his parents would be separated from him on his fourth birthday. Due to this, he rejected to sleep during nights and sometimes even during daytime. He also wanted to be with his mother for 24 hours. When consulted to a doctor (I think psychologist), he suggested sleeping pills to Sohan, but even after sleeping pills, Sohan didn’t sleep. Later sleeping pills were (fortunately) stopped. After few months, when the doctor made him go through a play session doctors told to Sohan’s parent that his mental growth is below average and when play session was repeated after 6 months doctor confirmed that his mental growth hasn't improved much. Finally, Sohan’s parents stopped going to the doctor and started thinking about alternatives.

        When I observed Sohan based on Visual clues it was evident that many of his answers were constructed and even his words were not very clear. I started wondering what is going on in his mind. After talking to him for a while based on his language (meta model), I realized that he is taking undue advantage of perception of people about himself.

        In next session, I developed a story and told my wife to tell it to him. (she is better than me in storytelling). It worked very well. Then I developed another story (Milton model) for next session and at the end of the session, I asked him if he alone would join me for a ride. Sohan happily agreed to come with in me in a car. It was for the first time in 2 years that he was going out with someone other than his parents. We returned after 15 minutes and he didn't show any signs of separation during that time. I also bought him some toffees. Then we decided that rather than his mother, his grandmother would accompany him to school and he was comfortable with his grandmother as well.

        My next goal was to check his development. In next session, he wrote all the letters and numbers on whiteboard for me. Then we decided that rather than staying with him, his grandmother would wait outside his school and even that worked well as expected. This much was achieved in just 3 sessions. Now Sohan goes to school and his progress is comparable to other children of his age. 

        This case is a good example of application of basic NLP skills. One thing that I like about NLP is that the results are fast and long lasting. It works for almost everyone and anywhere.

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